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The health suggestions I share here are not intended to replace qualified medical practitioner supervision

* I am NOT medically qualified *

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Of possible interest to cancer affected folk…



My mother’s lung cancer reversal


Back in 2001 when my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer, I did a Google search for cancer cures, and found Dr Johanna Budwig’s flaxseed oil and cottage cheese mixture recommendation. A few months later I took my mother to a local naturopath within the then Val Allen naturopathy centre here in Perth, now called Perth Natural Medical Clinic, who as part of her recommendations encouraged her to take mushroom extract drops, called ‘Coriolus-grifola complex and beetroot juice daily, which I give a little more detail on later.


Before long relatives and friends were contacting me for the information that my mother had applied, to use for themselves or folk they knew with cancer, and so I would email them notes I wrote up describing it all. In late January 2009 I learned that my younger cousin Vee had recently been diagnosed with a cancer in his throat-neck area, and so I emailed him the same information. This development got me thinking and prompted me to make a simple web site to place this information to be accessible to the public.


In the ‘Optional’ section, I have just rewritten the ‘psychological option’, and am planning to rewrite the ‘religious option’, which for now remains the same as when I wrote it some years back.


My hope is that whoever visits this site in need, or in behalf of another in need, is benefited by the suggestions here.


The Flaxseed (Linseed) Oil & Cottage Cheese Mixture (of Dr Johanna Budwig)
(As used by my mother from 2001)
Daily portion:
3 tablespoons of cottage cheese;
2 tablespoons of flaxseed oil;
Mix very well;
If unable to eat the whole portion in one sitting, make smaller portions, fresh each time, and eat up to the total through the day (IMPORTANT: DO NOT STORE UNEATEN PORTIONS; consume within 20 minutes);
(Please read and follow the important advice below under ‘Monday 8th December 2003’ regarding the freezing of the oil prior to its use. Also, given that flaxseed oil has blood thinning properties, this needs to be factored in, especially if aspirin or other blood thinning drugs are being used, to manage potential dangers. Guidance on this from a physician is highly advised, and if sympathetic or open minded, highly prized!)


I strongly recommend visiting BUDWIG VIDEOS.COM (http://www.budwigvideos.com/) to learn directly of Dr Johanna Budwig’s numerous health recommendations and many important details I have not provided here. Back in 2001 I got most of my information from the following two sites, which I also recommend reading as corroborative support to the Budwig site above:
and
Each of the three links above was functional in February 2009.


Below is my account, written in stages from 2003, of my mother’s experience of overcoming lung cancer:


Monday 8th December 2003


Dear friend in need:


I found the info below on the internet. My Mum has been using the mixture of 3 tablespoons of cottage cheese and 2 tablespoons of flaxseed oil for 2 years now. Mix daily very well. Freeze weekly portions of the oil from your new divvied up 500 ml bottle, and only ever thaw a weeks’ worth at a time. When you buy it, get it straight into your fridge, and make sure you bought it cold. It must not have the chance to warm up and begin to go rancid. This strict treatment of the oil is to minimise the very real problem of rancidity, which generates a separate set of health problems if consumed in this state.


With my best wishes: Payton L. Inkletter
Update 15th July 2005:

In early 2005 my mother’s cancer specialist in Leederville, who gave her – at age 70 – one course of radiotherapy over 2 or 3 weeks in late 2001 (about October) for a lung cancer of the most aggressive kind, declared her free of the cancer, with no sign in his scans. Back in 2001 a tumour in her lung had begun to push against her windpipe causing pain and discomfort. No other allopathic remedy was applied. The above mentioned oncologist calls my mother his miracle patient.


Her GP, soon after her diagnosis in late 2001, put her in touch with a palliative care nurse and declined to continue prescribing statins for cholesterol control, saying “you won’t be needing those” – meaning he didn’t expect her to live long. (A year later he re-prescribed them.)


My mother had smoked rather heavily all her life beginning in her mid teens. Sadly, even since the cancer diagnosis she has as yet been unable to completely give up the habit, albeit she is smoking far less, yet still daily.


I started her taking the oil-cottage cheese mix about November 2001, after her radiotherapy. She had a burnt oesophagus which made swallowing the mix difficult for some weeks.


In April 2002 I took her to her first ever appointment with a naturopath here in Perth at the Val Allen clinic, who prescribed mushroom extract drops, called “Coriolus-grifola complex”, which she said was effective against tumours. The rate she recommended her to use was 70 drops daily for as long as Mum could afford it, as I understood it, but in April 2005 she recommended that a reduction to about half this amount indefinitely was still a very good maintenance regime. She seemed very pleasantly surprised that Mum had kept taking the drops for so long, suggesting to me that many people do not keep up taking them. Interestingly, she had never heard of Dr Budwig’s oil-cheese mixture as a cancer cure.


I mention the mushroom extract because I cannot rule it out as a factor in my mother’s recovery. I seem to remember that by the early months of 2002 the specialist was finding better than expected results from the previous late in the year’s radiotherapy, before Mum started on the drops. My feeling is that the accelerated recovery, against the odds, for an elderly lifetime smoker – from the most aggressive form of lung cancer – was more due to the oil-cheese mixture than the drops, and of course the radiotherapy must have helped.


From what I have read of Dr Budwig’s results with advanced cancer sufferers, I would not hesitate to embark on her flaxseed oil - cottage cheese dietary supplement regime if I was diagnosed with cancer and had the opportunity to.


Update 31st March 2006:

Mum is still alive, still smoking daily, but suffering increasingly the decline of old age – she will be 75 in May.


Update 29th August 2007:

Yes, still firing on most cylinders, is Mumski, but she has suffered several strokes in the last two years, which have not occurred in motor, memory, or speech areas, very fortunately. I strongly suspect that she has been off the cottage cheese and flaxseed oil mix for at least a year now, as well as not taking the mushroom drops for about or at least as long. And she is still smoking. But I have just come back from a five day visit to a farm near Broomehill where she currently lives with my eldest sister, and she does some weeding, carts some wood in a wheelbarrow to the house, and does some cooking, ironing, and mending, and is 76.


Update 25th December 2008:

This year about July Mum had a cancer excised from her lower left leg above the ankle, lower shin side, which she said was a tiny sore that would not heal for maybe twenty years, but lately had grown in size to a ten cent piece (I suspect she has been off the flaxseed+cottage cheese mix for over two or more years now as well as the mushroom drops, and is still smoking daily.). The doctor advised that she would be laid up for six months and that healing would be very slow.


Well, on Christmas day I saw the wound, and it has healed beautifully, even though there is quite a depression because a huge deep lump was excised, and she was walking around in a third of the time she was told it would take. She is 77 now, and frail, but mobile.


Some of the Naturopath’s recommendations for my mother:


Just before breakfast:
acidopholus - 1 teaspoon in water or 1 capsule
Just after breakfast:
20 drops of coriolus/grifola complex in water
During the day:
500 ml of carrot juice and 100 ml of beetroot juice mixed, with a little ginger root for taste if needed
Just after dinner:
20 drops of coriolus/grifola complex in water
I remember the Naturopath was particularly keen on the healing qualities of beetroot juice.
*******


Options


Psychological option:
Visualisation-imagination exercises, so effectively employed by many successful sportspeople, may, and probably can and do, assist in improving health, in accelerating healing, in reversing disease. A brief and simple psycho-cybernetic description and appraisal of what’s involved is in order:


Once in a relaxed state – which we can draw ourselves into as simply as standing still, or sitting, or lying down, (never driving or operating machinery or when it’s important to have our wits externally about us!) closing our eyes, and breathing slowly, gently, unforced, and reciting mentally as little as the following countdown:


“One: relaxing;
Two: relaxing more;
Three: relaxing even more;
Four: completely relaxed, totally relaxed, utterly relaxed…”


all the while smoothly cooperating with the auto-suggestiveness of the words and letting go of muscular and bodily tensions – once we are as relaxed as practical given the situation we’re in and the time we have at our disposal (and if we have more effective relaxative-meditative techniques we should use them), once in a relaxed state, we can begin focusing our imagination on desirable outcomes.


Two basic methods of employing the imagination interest me here: the subjective and the objective methods.


Objective visualisation-imagination:
In this method we simply watch ourselves as an actor in a film, doing, being, whatever we desire to come about, whatever is our desired outcome.


So if we are confined to wheelchair, we might watch ourselves walking, running, swimming, doing all the usual things of the able bodied.


If we are suffering from any form of illness, we might watch ourselves functioning totally free of it.


After a period of doing this, we should take the trouble to return to normal everyday waking consciousness, ordinary awareness, as simple as counting back up and out:


“Four, gently arousing:
Three, arousing more;
Two, arousing even more;
One, completely aroused, completely normally alert.”


This deliberate little effort to return to normal awareness is important, and I’ll say some more on it later.


Subjective visualization-imagination (the more powerful):
Following the identical relaxation preparation procedure as for the objective method, with the subjective method we are the actor rather than watch ourselves being the actor.


We situate ourselves in our imagined body, in ourself, and act out the desired outcomes. We see through our eyes located in our head, we feel the temperature on our skin, we hear sounds from the vantage of our ears mounted on our heads, we smell smells through our noses, we taste tastes on our tongues. In other words, we recreate the sensations of our living and very being, as identically as possible to those we experience, from the vantage of our personal awareness focus in our heads, in our second by second real daily living.


If someone shakes our hand and congratulates us upon our complete recovery from something, we feel the handshake, see the handshake, see and hear the person an arm’s length away front on, we in every way ‘are there in person’. If our loved one hugs us, we hug them as though it’s actually happening. If we taste or smell something delicious, then it’s just as if it was happening to us for real, in our bodies, set up as we are biologically all the time: head on our shoulders, our awareness vantage from right there inside our heads. If we cannot get around due to heart disease, in this imagination exercise we tear around with the heart of a mallee bull. If we look down, we see our feet (if our bellies permit! – but then we can imagine that our bellies permit, by seeing no belly in the way of our feet!).


After this period of imagining we return to normal awareness as per the identical counting up procedure already covered, or alternative if we have one.


Some analysis of the two methods:
Both are excellent, and the subjective method is more effective still than the objective. Simplified, the reason these imagination exercises have power to assist in bringing convergence of the outer world with the inner world view is due to the literal non-reasoning quality that dominates the subconscious mind.


Hypnotists demonstrate this with great effect, often on the one hand humorously, when they plant suggestions into a person’s subconsciousness, which can have them eat onions with all the impunity of eating an apple, or behave as though they are a washing machine when prompted, through onto the serious hand with phobics learning to master their fears, or patients at lethal risk from anesthesia being successfully operated upon under hypnosis. Our subconsciousness cannot tell the difference between a real experience and an imagined one, and the neurological mechanism of our bodies is triggered to express in the same way, whether that be the production of useful chemicals from our glands, to accelerated healing from exercise or blood flow, to endorphic pain reduction, or whatever it is that would do the job in real life, and so on.


The psychological powers and resources of the human system are tapped into by fooling the subconscious with these simple imagination exercises, and we would be well advised not to hasten to set limits to what these powers can achieve. Countless anecdotes suggest the sky is the limit, and numerous statistical based researches demonstrate the powers are real and positive, and definitely worth using.


The more senses that we can bring to bear during our imagining, the more the subconscious is fooled, as simple as that, which explains the greater force from the subjective technique. If our subconscious, focused from the vantage of our everyday existence inside our heads atop our shoulders, hears, sees, smells, feels, tastes, then it hasn’t got a hope of working out that it’s all not for real. The simple theory then goes that it sets about drawing our neurological mechanism into the ruse, activating it in accordance with what’s just been experienced, it sets about tapping into the host of awesome psychological powers and resources to bring the body and mindset into line with the vision.


Receptivity:
The main point of the preparatory relaxation is to heighten our receptivity to the positive suggestions we are about to make, and this is effected by a partial shutting down of the rational mind, an attenuation of our judgment or reasoning faculty. This need not be a problem, even though it sounds like we’re setting ourselves up for trouble. Hypnotists prepare their subjects for planting suggestions in a similar way, so the point is, only use a trustworthy hypnotist.


Due to the exercises I’m describing being self administered, the person you are calling yourself upon to trust is yourself, so of course you won’t try to take advantage of yourself! Technically, relaxation of the body induces the brain’s electromagnetic wave oscillations to move from the normal beta mode toward the higher receptivity state of the alpha mode; this refers simply to a slowing down in the revs, the RPM, of the brain, to use an engine analogy, and in this state the reasoning faculty of the mind is in lower gear, letting more slip by into the subconsciousness without filtering. This is just what we want; if we have a lump in our breast, and we want to program our subconscious mind to believe that it has healed and is gone.


And it is due to this heightened receptivity that it is important to return to normal consciousness with a count up or equivalent technique at exercise’s end, so as to re-arm the gatekeeper, our reasoning faculty, at the doorway to our mind, which operates best in beta mode. Otherwise, if we get very skilled at drawing our brain into alpha mode, we might mope around after the exercise is over in a bit of a daze and haze, being too receptive to whatever comes our way, and this is fraught.


Linguistics:
It really does matter what words we think, especially during these exercises, for the power of words to influence our wellbeing is significantly leveraged in the alpha state, so in addition to the visualizations we do, and the from one to five subjective senses we might activate, we should try to think very positive words and sentences to ourselves. I’ll throw around a few ideas:


“I’m completely healed!”;
“I feel great!”;
“My body is slim!”;
“I am totally fit!”;
“My eyes have perfect vision!”;
“I can walk, run, jump…!”;…


I’m sure you get the idea, and a million variations can be substituted. A word of advice: try to stay in affirmative mode with your statements, in preference to negative. By this I mean, rather than say, for example, “My lung cancer has completely gone!”, thus giving the concept ‘cancer’ a free introduction to the subconscious, which is a very powerful but non-reasoning simpleton of a fellow, it is better to achieve the same desired outcome meaning with something like “My lungs are in magnificent health!”


Bodily health need not be the only ambit of course. Consider these statements for example:


“I am wonderfully happy!”;
“I have oodles of great friends!”;
“My life is fantastic!”;
“Everything I touch turns to joy!”;
“I deeply love my fellow man!”;…


Again, you get the idea, and will have a million variations you could employ.


So linguistic affirmations should be mentally employed during the exercises as much as possible, and you may want to alternate between concentrating on experiencing a physical sensation and thinking a linguistic affirmation, or if you’re a Leonardo Da Vinci, be able to manage it together.


Harnessing emotional power:
It is obvious from the methods discussed so far that the mind has the ability to create sensate-equivalent meaning experiences, such as vision, sound, touch, all the way through to the whole five senses, without external sources to activate any of these sensory mechanisms, and this ability is activated during the exercises to impress the subconscious mind.


In addition to the five physical sense equivalents, we have the inner non-physical realm of the emotions to call upon and employ to our advantage. Joy; happiness; bliss; humour; exhilaration; contentment; gratitude; love; peace; relief; …


And so, we can see ourselves, objectively if that’s what we can manage, running when in actuality we cannot even walk, and feel great joy at the achievement; if we can BE the runner, so much the better, and overlay the experience with the feeling of joy, exhilaration, happiness. Maybe we need to alternate between the running and the feeling, because we can’t do them simultaneously; no matter, at least we will do both one way or another.


Any and all of the good emotions are at our disposal to saturate our being with during our imagination exercises, and glowing with these positive emotional highs will only add to the conviction of our gullible subconsciousness that we are doing really well, in really good health, succeeding with some desirable outcome, whatever it is that we are trying to achieve, thus setting it to work to converge the outer world actuality with the inner world vision. I cannot emphasize enough the benefit of employing the experiencing of positive emotions during these exercises, so much so that if a person cannot manage any of the visualizations nor subjective sense feelings, then the emotional experiences alone are highly valuable neurophysiological triggers.


A special word on humour: it is not a trivial saying of old: laughter is the best medicine. And we keep learning of the wonderful benefits folk all around the world are deriving from laughter clubs, and the power of comedy and so on to heal. Well, I recommend a daily belly laughing session in the imagination exercises, for the subconscious will behave in a very similar way to a real belly laughing occurrence, and set the nervous system to work releasing its good chemicals to work their loving magic upon our systems. No worries about disturbing anyone, and the only giveaway will be the big smile on our face if someone should see us. Of course, don’t take all this to mean I don’t recommend actually laughing long and hard daily; let’s try to do both.


General observations:
How long daily to do these visualisation-imagination exercises? To a point, the more the better; however, I don’t recommend more than 30 minutes in a session, and if you had 30 minutes to devote to it in a day, two 15 minute sessions or three 10 minute sessions, spread out would have advantages worth so chopping it up.


Let’s say you find yourself with a spare minute – yes, one minute – consider this abbreviated exercise:


“Four three two one completely relaxed, utterly relaxed…”
Glow with joy, exhilaration, happiness. If you can and wish, see/be healed of whatever, doing whatever, thinking a good sentence, for example: “I’m enjoying perfect health!” Imagine up a belly laugh perhaps.
“One two three four completely aroused, completely alert.”


As we repeatedly use our chosen relaxation and arousal mental scripts, we train our minds to react and obey more quickly and efficiently, so it is entirely sensible to use shortened forms when time is short but the opportunity presents. The longer scripts should still be employed when we can, to draw ourselves deeper into relaxation and thus more suggestive receptive states, for the deeper work of the more firmly co-opting of our subconscious minds in the quest to achieve our goals.


Some ideas for variations on the count down and count up scripts:
At the end of both the count down and count up, you could think: ‘alpha state’ and ‘beta state’ alternatively. For example:


“One: relaxing;
Two: relaxing more;
Three: relaxing even more;
Four: completely relaxed, totally relaxed, utterly relaxed, alpha state…”


“Four, gently arousing:
Three, arousing more;
Two, arousing even more;
One, completely aroused, completely normally alert, beta state.”


You could drop the word ‘state’ and just say ‘alpha’, ‘beta’.


When time is short, believe it or not, we can employ extremely brief scripts:


“Four three two one alpha state…”;
“One two three four beta state.”
Even briefer, believe it or not:
“Alpha state…”
“Beta state.”


Hang on, it can get shorter:


“Alpha…”; or “Relaxed…”; or “Down…”
“Beta…”; or “Aroused…”; or “Up.”


For a beginner, don’t expect these lapidary statements to alter your brain’s rate of cycling, its state of receptivity. However, with simple practice, doing these relaxation imagination exercises daily, our mind can be trained to quickly respond to some degree to the intention we attach to these brief commands. Nothing replaces the deep relaxation and receptivity states that come from a long script invested with cooperation by our minds and bodies with the meaning inherent in the script, but we don’t always have that time available, so I recommend employing the shorter methods as well. You’ll be programming yourself for health, happiness, success, (your choices), more often if you do.


These exercises must be fun, a time out, they must be something we enjoy so much we can hardly wait to do the next one. Thus if any stress enters into them due to difficulty in achieving, for example, being rather than seeing, or tasting or hearing or whichever sense or senses we find hard to activate, don’t bother. Let them go, and just flow easily with the one or more things we can manage. DO NOT MAKE THESE EXERCISES HARD WORK, MAKE THEM FUN. Even if it means the only thing we can manage easily is to feel an emotion such as joy, without any visuals or sense-equivalent activations, then just feel and glow with joy, perhaps thinking positive sentences at the same time such as “I’m glowing with health!” An imagined positive emotion has great power to heal, to uplift, to restore. A full bodied imaginary laugh is powerful medicine: do that if nothing else. Just make it fun, keep it fun, and you’ll keep doing it, and reap the rewards.


With time and practice, odds are, like any skill, we’ll get better at it, and find we can bring more of our imagination faculty’s resources to bear; if not, still, no matter.


At the outset of this account I used the fancy term ‘psycho-cybernetic’, and what I mean by it is simply the control-influence of the human system by that self same human’s mind.


Theistic (spiritual; faith; religious) option:
(I am planning an extensive rewrite with revision and augmentation of this option, in light of the developments in my understanding of the past five years; however, the essence of my suggestions will remain unchanged.)
My first notes written about 2004:
And for what it is worth – think of it is a spiritual catalyst – I would aspire to continuously thank God, or God-equivalent, for every little and big blessing in my life that I could think of, despite my cancer challenge (count my blessings).


Divine ('Divine' inserted in September 2010 quick edit) (Miraculous) healings are possibly quite rare, but I do believe that they occur. (inserted Feb. 2009, in anticipation of the pending rewrite with revision and augmentation: There is much confusion as to what constitutes a miracle, for the subject is profound, and I plan to write further on this subject in another project I am currently working on. However, at risk of too little information, I will add now that a miracle can be sensibly understood to be the result of the temporary simultaneous operation of a higher law/s with the continuous operation of lower laws. With this understanding, the divine economy can be seen NOT to be at odds with itself, fighting one law with another; rather, all laws operate according to the same underlying absolute principles; the higher law achieves an outcome which renders the lower laws redundant for that frame of reference at that time. A very rough and loose analogy: a large fire fighting effort is being organised to tackle a huge wildfire; it rains extensively and heavily; the fire fighting effort is now redundant, for there is no fire currently to fight.) I have learned something very inspiring about the underlying principles of divine reversal of disease and damage. The likelihood of divine response (miracle response) to faith is directly proportional to purity of motive.('divine response' inserted in September 2010 quick edit. It is more correct to use the expression 'divine response to faith' than 'miracle response...', because strictly speaking, probably most 'miracles' are processes uniformly following spiritual laws just as surely as material laws, but which we don't understand.) That is, the more that healing is desired for enabling one to better or further or continue to do God’s will, the more likely the divine source is to allow it. Bearing in mind that as the soul is our vehicle for transferring our identity from our material body at death, God is always helping us develop our soul to immortality status, regardless of our physical health. So to desire to live longer on earth to serve our fellow man as we understand God would want us to, gives the administrators of the divine economy a rather good reason to allow supernatural prolongation of the life of our temporary material body, if it dovetails with God’s will and if it doesn’t clash with better plans.


Please assiduously avoid the assumption that, if increasing purity of motive increases the likelihood of a miraculous healing, then those who do not have healing or even succumb to their disease or condition must have low purity of motive. This inverse corollary is not true. And for the same reasons that high, great – perfect even – purity of motive is no guarantee of divine (inserted in September 2010 quick edit) (miraculous) healing or deliverance from some danger or harm. The administrators of the divine economy will have numerous considerations regarding the timing and circumstances (natural law) of our dying (graduation), and all judgment of the person, and facilitation of divine plans involving any one of us alive, sick, or dead, is by far best left to them.


I have also learned that there is nothing good that we cannot ask God to give us, and here I am referring to the ethically good things, the fruits of the spirit category. The better a quality is, the more we should demonstrate our desire for it by constantly sincerely asking for it from Him. To my point specifically in this context of disease: sincerely ask God, until the cows come home and after they’re in the stable, for, among other fruits of the spirit, the blessing that is purity of motive. God, through His ministering hosts, agents, and agencies will fall over Himself to supply. They tip a bucket of it on us at our every requesting, and we absorb a drop. A hundred askings over some days adds up to a hundred drops absorbed.


Spiritual progress in such a frame of mind is gradual, but not slow. You will look back weekly and notice improvements in your fruits of the spirit class of personal qualities. It is not slow!


If my spiritual sharing has not put you off, please try it. Every time we ask God for an ethically good thing, a divine invasion of our soul occurs. It is spiritual law and principle, and it gets easier to do as we do it. We do not ask remotely enough for good things of God. Greed is good, when it’s for divine values. God is a gentleman, and waits to be invited to give above and beyond the already myriad blessings that come standard with our coming into being.


Prescription for mastery of living (relationship) in six words:
Love prodigiously (verb: accept, take, divine love, give your love upwards to God and sideways to your fellow man; Beatles’ version of verb – love, love me do); thank; ask; forgive; rejoice.


Reality is infinitely better than we can possibly imagine, the universe is friendly, the gospel is a love story, God is the best friend we can ever have, God is the easiest person infinitely by far to fall in love with, and falling in love with God is our ticket to eternity. With all my love and compassion… Payton L. Inkletter.


Some concluding remarks concerning the options:
And there is no reason why a religiously inclined person could not combine, by infusion of her religious sentiments into the psychological techniques, both options. Thus her visualisation-imagination exercises can, whenever she chooses, include ‘experience’ with the divine society, whether that be with her concept of angels, God, the Son of God, and linguistic constructions (sentences) descriptive of that divine society and economy.


For example, she can experience Jesus touching her and healing her instantly of whatever ailment she has; she can fraternise with angels; experience resurrection; imagination is really the limit. She can think sentences such as: “I am loved infinitely by my Father God”; “God is keeping me in perfect health”; “God is my best friend”; “God is my partner, actually with me, in everything at all times”; and so on. And of course, the concomitant feelings of joy, exhilaration, relief, safety, courage, gratitude, and the like, are there for the creating, the experiencing, the flooding of her being.


All the best with using these guidelines, either or both options, and please do adapt and improve upon them as an assist in the great human quest of achieving happiness.
+paytontedwithlove+